I am a good problem solver. I ace projects. And I always used to get good grades. I am comfortable with what I can control. I am what I have come to call a good “efforter”. I try hard.

All that seemed to be working well for me until I needed my second open heart surgery in my early 50s. The first surgery I had accepted with equanimity, even gratitude as I would have died shortly if the problem hadn’t been diagnosed.

However, when the first one failed and I was informed I would have to endure another one, I truly was stuck. My skill set of efforting and being a good do-er of stuff would not suffice.

What could I do? If all the work I did to recover from the first surgery didn’t matter, what could I do? What could I hope for?

I felt deep despair.

Looking for some kind of mindset that would make the ordeal possible, I thought about what I could do to cope. How did others cope? I read stories about being stuck, like Jonah swallowed into the belly of the whale or like Inanna hanged on a hook in the underworld.

I encountered my own stuck-ness in these stories. There was something they did which I had yet to find.

It was scary work, as encounters with our own hang-ups can be. But occasional fear was much better than despair. As I grew familiar with them, the stories helped me find courage.

I did discovered my own way to move through my second surgery. The more I realized move, the less despair I felt. In fact, I became a much better patient, which no doubt helped my recovery.

I am a therapist who has been working for over 20 years in private practice. My purpose is to help others find their way from the terrible sensation of stuckness to experiencing their own vitality.